Friday, April 26, 2002
Hello...For those of you reading this, whom ever you are...I would like you to know that this is very unusual for me and I am actually looking forward to how progressive this so called Blog (Diary) =o) goes. One thing that I know is that my entries are going to be quite long and so i'm worrying if there is some kind of limit as to how much I post per day or session. I guess I'll just have to wonder by trial and error until something goes wrong. I am sort of in a daze right now...I'm not exactly sure what I want to write or why I even want to write and so I'm just going to type what is on my mind like I am currently doing now. lol I guess I can just give you readers out there some information on what I am currently working on and why nothing is getting done. Sometimes, in life, there are just too many things going on and when you love everything like me, well....it's hard to prioritize all of the things you would like to accomplish in an order from first to last. When I think about my priorities I think of all of them as if they are first on the list and can't get a thing done. Usually, when I know I have to get something done and there is some type of consequence if it is not completely by a certain date, I will focus on it, forget everything, not eat, not sleep, not talk to anyone and just focus on that one project until it is complete. Let me tell you...that is NOT the way to go! I have gone days at a time without eating or sleeping when working on something I know needs to be finished and well, I would have to spend the rest of my life putting all of my energy into each thing that needs to be completed. I have someone in my life now that is not taking my time away but is making me want to take time out of my day for that person. Now, taking any time out of my schedule is a frustrating thing and when it happens, it usually takes me a day just to get back in motion. It seems that when I am working on something and pooring all my energy and time into it I only get that one thing done and nothing else matters. I will spend night after day, day after night to just focus and finish what it is i'm working on and won't care about anything or ANYONE else until it is finished. This is sometimes a good thing, but mostly it turns out to be a bad thing. Not something i'm proud of, but it's just a trait I have. Right now I am working on a simple music cd for my sister to listen to in her dressing room at L.J. Williams Theartre before her performance of Fidler on The Roof, the Golden West Musical. I realize that the only thing my sister cares about is herself and that she honestly does not care if I live or die. She treats me with such disrespect that I wouldn't even want her living on this planet if she wasn't related to me. She really doesn't understand how much I actually care about her and how much it hurts me when she acts like I'm just some guy off the street that she doesn't need at all in the future as a friend and brother. Later on, when she is older and realizes i'm all she has, she may change her attitude and I feel that it is going to take a lot to get back all of the respect I used to have for her. I guess this is enough of my complaining for now. I am going to make it a duty to leave an entry in this everyday...I hope whoever reads this understands how they influence my life and how much I care about them as an individual. Take care everyone...I'll talk to you all tomorrow. =o) over and out.
posted by Jules at 2:20 PM